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Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D - Plum's List

Cut because of Spoilers for Series 1 Episode 3 - "The Asset".

(I'm Serious, if you don't want to be spoiled, read no further.)

Week Three in the Stuff I typed While Watching Series is here! Yada yada, in order. Blah, blah, not changed except to add emphasis etc. You know the drill by now.

1. Okay, Optimus Prime is keeping some weird company these days. :)
2. ...And now I want Transformers crossover fic. (Not the Michael Bay kind.)
3. Why are you whinging about training, Skye? You wanted to be badass. Being badass is this. It's about other stuff too, but yeah, you need to be trained up. And you're turning down fighting lessons? Not exactly bright.
4. Also, you are lame Skye. Why are you boxing with perfect hair? Tie that shit back yo.
5. Oh. Oh dear. That does not look right. Coulson, why are you touching that?

6. Okay, I shouldn't be complaining about the commercials because they're nothing to do with AoS, but man that new Apple ad irritates me. Really, your new feature is colours? The instant anyone gets one of your phones they're just going to put a case on it anyway to stop it getting damaged. What the fuck Apple, what the fuck? ...Also, at some point I think I'd like to watch The Adjustment Bureau. It's about a bunch of people with time-travelling hats, right? Right? C'mon, those trilbies have got to be magic.
7. Oh hello. Cowboy time, Lola and Coulson in shades... The Plum Likes.
8. Is everyone in this series trying desperately to make themselves Super?
9. Okay, isn't that just one of those rigs they strap astronauts into to see how much gravity will make them puke then black out? It's basically just a gyroscope. Wait. Is it powered by Marvel Science? Yeeeeah.
10. Right, this is starting to bug me now. Do Fitz and Simmons just not mind being lumped in together like some hideous portmanteau couple? I know I bloody would. Is it because the part was originally only one person and then boom, an extra character worked better? What the hell? I've never understood why that happens in canon. It very rarely does, and that's mostly for the very good reason that most people don't like being referred to as a collective. It's weird enough when the Castle tie-in books get 'Nikki Heat' to call 'Raley' and 'Ochoa', Roach. Getting Castle to think the actual characters Ryan and Esposito were one guy, Ryan Esposito, was a good gag the first time, but him starting to call them 'Respo' or something much worse on a regular basis would just be irritating and stupid. And everyone referring to Fitz and Simmons as FitzSimmons all the time is fine if you're calling them quickly or referring to them both when they're not there, but to do it to their faces is just weird.

11. Why are you smug that you have an e-vite Skye? You are a mildly hot young lady and Ian Whatsit is a pervy young dude. [Ian Quinn]
12. The job title of Hacker is always an irritatingly vague and smug thing to be in films and on telly, but please stop saying things like 'insider back-channel voodoo' and 'back doors', it just sounds like you don't know what you're talking about. Admittedly because you don't, but showing off your stupidity is not endearing. (I'm not sure if I'm talking to the characters or the writers at this point, but I really mean it.)
13. Ooh. Dark backstory for Ward. Even more unexpected than Skye's traitorousness. Yeeeeep.
14. Aw. May is worried about Coulson. I appreciate the idea of them as friends. Yes. Friends. Not so much with the shipping here. Besides, Coulson is totes allowed to have friends. And May can def be one of them. Plus I can easily see May and Tasha drinking heavily together and chatting about work, while in the background Clint bitches to Coulson purely to irritate him. And then a fight breaks out and Coulson's all 'it's cool, they got this' and Clint is like 'OMG, I need a weapon' and Tasha and May are just like 'we will totally end you if our drinking in peace cannot be re-established'.
15. Wow. Okay, so no one else is wearing colours of any kind. Did Skye accidentally e-vite herself to a posh funeral wake?

16. Wow that was awkward. Skye really is terrible at this spy stuff. Okay, okay, she's new to it, I know. Aaand now she's 'talking to herself' in the midst of a crowd of random party guests? Sure, why not? That's totally normal behaviour, right?
17. Aw, Coulson really does always wear a suit, doesn't he?
18. Um, did JJ [Abrahms] have anything to do with this? He tends to go for the big spinny balls of Made-up-ium. Oh no, wait, it's Whedon isn't it? Wonderflonium it is. ...Say, is Nathan Fillion going to turn up at any point at all? I don't entirely care which character he is, I just want a universe to exist where Mal and Coulson can be awesome at each other.
19. Aw, Fitz has a popcorn.
20. And this is what they call a Double Bluff. ...Or is it a triple at this point? She will eventually end up on the side of Shield, right? Either that or they'll replace her with someone less irritating. Eh, whatevs.

21. Presumably Coulson is wearing a stab vest under the suit. Presumably.
22. Ah crap.
23. Okay. He's activated it. Because just breaking it isn't enough.
24. Ah crap. Again. /channeling Hellboy
25. ...Oh goody. They're on the ceiling. And gravity is totally fucked. Quickly, call Arthur! He's good at fucked up gravity.

26. Say, did her dress just grow like four or five inches since she got out of the water? Only I swear it was above her knees before.
27. And that, Skye, is why we learn how to fight.
28. Oooh, good quote. "We have to live with the choices we make, but sometimes we have to die with them too." Foreshadowing? It certainly bodes.
29. Yep. Give it time. I expect more boding.
30. Shit, okay, why can't Coulson remember how to dismantle a gun? I mean, we all know it's not Coulson because that would be too nice and all the pointed teases from Hill and so on, but surely LMDs are programmed to be able to do all the things the real them could do, and clones would have the same muscle memories as the subject or no one would believe that they were who they said they were (and that's how clones work in sci-fi as opposed to actual clones). This plotline worries me more and more every week.

31. Good. You should now be working. Don't make me dislike you even more, Skye, I want you to be awesome, and it just keeps not happening. Make me proud instead?
32. The glowy ball is now in a glowy box. With blue lights. So you know it's SCIENCE.
33. Wait, so we're not sending it to space now? We're just going to Warehouse 13 this shit I suppose? Fuck. Such a bad plan.
34. That's, um, handy. /terrible pun
35. Is there a Gravity Man or something? I have no idea, but that's definitely the kind of foreshadowing that seems massively significant and then gets forgotten and never resolved. (See Buffy s1e4 for giant preying mantis eggs that were just left there, and s1e11 for a secret Invisible-People governmentally sanctioned school that never gets mentioned again. Oh Joss.)

Less than last time, most than Week One...


Less of that this time. I didn't get to have a natter with my pals before I posted this, so instead of Group Madness, it's just me. And I'm going to have to re-watch this episode over again because I don't think I'm in the right frame of mind this week.

Hence this, written just after I'd finished the ep:

My enthusiasm for this show waxes and wanes. I'm sure it has the potential to be great, but it's just trying too hard to be cool and forgetting that we need our characters to be actually likeable people in order for us to actually, y'know, like them. I just have fairly meh or ugh feelings towards most of the characters. They all seem so bland and one-dimensional.

I'm sticking with it, but I'm worried for the future of it. Like I said, I think it has the potential to be brilliant, but it needs to establish itself, and it won't be able to do that if no one watches it and it never gets renewed. And if it fails then we'll be setting mainstream sci-fi shows back again. The geek market will collapse again. And I will have a sad.


...Since then I've come to realise that I might want to watch these episodes with other people at least once. I've been watching alone, and I think my moods have coloured my list-reviews. I watched this week's ep very late at night whilst already tired, and in a great deal of pain.


TL;DR - Sorry guys, I just didn't like this week as much as previous weeks. Maybe it's a blip. I'm always willing to give the benefit of the doubt. I tend to try to judge not on single episodes but on whole series at a time, so keep watching this space.

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