Week Five - Plum's Spoilerific List

[plum177]

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D - Plum's List

Cut because of Spoilers for Series 1 Episode 5 - "Girl in the Flower Dress".

(I'm Serious, if you don't want to be spoiled, read no further.)

Week Five. Nothing's changed since the last episode. I'm still writing it as I go, and I'm not changing things, though I might be adding bits.

1. Okay, so I have no particular expectations this week and I am massively late to the party, so here's hoping that this is a good one.
2. Oh. I have suspicions. Is she [Raina] a member of that funky group that Skye jams with? [Rising Tide] I also suspect that she has worrying powers. Basically I am just suspicious in general.
3. And than spacemen from the 50's arrived?
4. *pouts* Are SHIELD legit kidnapping people now? Aw man. I don't like it when the good guys are all bad guyish. Or maybe it's Rising Tide. Eh. Whatevs.
5. You sunk my Battleship. And I lol, Because I cannot but think of this. And Skye kicked his ass at Battleship. Because he is lame and Bland and I really need to force that into my head to stop the bad shipping I am doing.

6. N'aw, Mommy and Daddy. Or as I like to call them in my brain, Momma May and Papa Coulson. (Except that that makes them sound like grandparents instead of just parents, so not out loud.)
7. Oh yeah, May could kick Coulson's ass easy. So easy.
8. Oh Fitz, you adorable puppy of naiveté.
9. Did she just say 'Hack-tivists'? Oh fuck no. Please NEVER do that again.
10. Oh go on, let her be a power amplifier. Just do it guys. [Raina]

11. Have another try, dear, Scorch is a terrible superhero name. Also, am I not paying enough attention, or do we still not know who the hell this woman is? Dude, seriously, do not trust that pretty lady, she is clearly not good for you.
12. Sooo, wait, May can fly the jet by iPad? Do they not have another pilot on board? (Who flies when May is asleep?)
13. So either that guy is an old bf of Bland's, or Bland isn't so Bland after all. These guys need more super-spy training, to help them blend in a bit better or something. Seriously, just teach Bland how to look like he's checking someone out and Miles wouldn't be running right now.
14. And really seriously I know they're not exactly a 'secret' government organisation or anything anymore, but the big fuckoff logo on the van is really unhelpful when you're on a legit UNDERCOVER op. Ffs. The police don't take their jam sandwiches on ops. *sighs*
15. Okay. What... I And here I was thinking they were going to push that whole Ward and Skye thing, but apparently she has a secret hacker bf who is (extremely) hot and not so Bland and um. Yeah.

16. Help, is she double-bluffing again? I have no clue.
17. She keeps a sim card in her bra? I have kept things in my bra, it is not the safest of places, especially for tiny things. Fail for Victoria's Secret Compartment.
18. Oh dear. You have disappointed Papa Coulson. The shame will weigh heavy upon your heart.
19. And thus everyone is sad and disappointed and shamed and has closed ranks with Skye on the outside. A bit. She's so going to pull the heel-face-turn out of her ass this episode isn't she? Though actually, this makes her story with the Rising Tide stronger, urgh. I don't have a clue which way they're going with this.
20. Oh fuck me, more Hulk-juice? *Whyyyy?*

21. I hate to ask this, but what use is fire power? Unless you suddenly find yourself in the lands of Avatar, I mean. (Note to self: We really need to have the argument about the genetic roots of bending again. It's been far too long.)
22. Why am I so excited to hear mention of Minecraft in a TV show? Except that really they ought to have done their research by asking a Minecraft player in order to find out that firstly Zombie Pigmen are, yes, mobs, but they're NPCs, and also neutral (in all but the pocket editions of the game) (they don't attack at all unless you attack first, and okay they fight back a lot, but if you leave them be, they'll leave you alone too) and while you can get a skin so you could look like one, you wouldn't be a Zombie Pigman and if you're being a dick player you're not a mob, you're a griefer. (Um. I may know too much about this, but really ten minutes of searching on YouTube could have fixed that. Also I refuse to believe that no one on the writing staff plays Minecraft. Really? And you didn't correct them? For shame MineCrafter. For Shame.)
23. And apparently Fitz is scared of Zombie Pigmen because of why? Seriously, Zombie Pigmen may look a bit odd, but they are probably the most pleasant thing you'll find in the Nether except for a really good glowstone seam, and why am I even still talking about this? (If Fitz should be scared of anything it's that Ghasts will visit him in the night. Or that he'll accidentally see an Enderman.)
24. May and Coulson are the best. I just want all the badass bro-genfics of them.
25. Oh crapballs, she's not even Rising Tide, she's a lone scary fucker.

26. Wait, did she say Extremis? Oh even more fuckballs. I liked that happy magic fire guy. [Chan Ho Yin]
27. Coulson fixes his own fuckups. He doesn't fuck up often, but when he does...
28. Ah, I loled. World's largest vacuum cleaner. It's my 'it's that guy' (older asian variant). Dude is serious in everything I watch for like one episode, two if he's lucky. According to IMDb I gotta take up 24 to see more of him.
29. Oh shit. And he won't be getting another episode of this. And now Chen's gone all power mad and unconvincible. *sighs*
30. Um. Coulson's in trouble and your first instinct is Unlock Skye? Really, Bland?

31. Also I'm guessing if he keeps on like this he'll just burn himself up completely.
32. And apparently it's Bland to the rescue. Riiiight.
33. Also Raina is a massive bitch. Yikes.
34. Coulson's best method of distraction is apparently to just stand up and say 'Hello, I am a distraction'.
35. Aww, sadfacing over Papa Couslon. You can save someone from themselves if you get to them early enough. Oh Poppet. *snuggles him*

36. Papa Coulson is also tough but fair. And he likes to troll people, so good luck Miles, I hope your Mandarin is good enough to keep you alive for long enough to buy a plane ticket home. After you can go back onto planes of course.
37. Ah. Right, okay. Cliched as fuck, but fine, whatever. Or is this further layers of bluff? I just don't know anymore. I think I am not particularly fond of Skye purely because she confuses me. Her character makes no sense right now in my brain and it's irritating.
38. Now Papa Coulson declares that you wear the bracelet of trusting.
39. Post-titles. It's like being in the movies!
40. Okay. I have no idea what just happened, but it was jolly mysterious and full of doublespeak, so it was probably very evil.

As usual, discussion followed...

1. Now that they've given Skye a backstory boyfriend and broken them up so nicely, this means that they'll start pushing the Ward/Skye now, won't they? Urgh.
2. May continues to be awesome and there's still no evidence to suggest that Coulson isn't an LMD, so that's looking more and more likely.
3. Joss is clearly in league with The Moff. They are both evil super forward-planners.
4. Winner of the Who is Skye question (in the category of never going to happen, no seriously, they've already cast someone else, but fuck it we want it to happen) is that she is Scarlet Witch. - In no way proposed by me, I'm not that awesome, but wholeheartedly supported by me.
5. I need to talk less about Minecraft (especially in these list-reviews, but also in life in general. Also, I don't understand where things are going with Skye and that worries me.


And thus ends an episode of if not super-amazing then at least pretty good programming. My enthusiasm for this show is starting to pick back up again. Hooray!

Yes, I know there's a week's hiatus between episodes five and six and I'm late getting to episode five, but I won't be as long with six, I promise.